Him

Him

Name: Ian McLellan

Ian was a family name. McLellan was a family name. As far as nomenclature goes, Ian’s family is all about family. Practically all the boys are named Ian, all the girls Katie. Frankly, I’m surprised they didn’t make me change my name before I joined the clan.

They’re a good bunch, though. They took in, with open arms, the girl who was named after a hospital.

Hometown: Plainfield, New Jersey. Moved to Atlantic Highlands when he was fourteen.



It’s really probably for the best that Ian didn’t move until he was fourteen. For one, this meant that I didn’t actually have to see Pete that often during high school, because he lived a solid forty-five minutes away. At least for the first two years, before Pete and I reached a comfortable point in our love-hate relationship, seeing him less was always better.

And, of course, because Ian didn’t move until he was fourteen, I was never witness to the awkward stages: eating paste in kindergarten, snapping classmates’ bras in sixth grade, being vastly mistaken about one’s own maturity in eighth. By the time he met me, I had a fully-developed Ian, with all the fart and poop humor already drained out of him.

Parents: Pat and Katie McLellan

I wasn’t supposed to call Mr. and Mrs. McLellan “Mr. and Mrs. McLellan” anymore, because apparently that’s too formal when you’re married to their son. But it would have just been too weird to call them “Mom and Dad,” so I was under strict orders to use “Pat and Katie.”

To me, this sort of felt like calling my Bio teacher “Amy.” I would never, never, never, never do it. Mr. and Mrs. McLellan were Mr. and Mrs. McLellan, and until I wrapped my mind around the idea of using first names (which I didn’t think I would ever do), I employed a strict no-name policy, in which any address was prohibited.

Education: Graduate of Henry Hudson Regional High School

If I had been excited that my family turned out for my graduation, this was nothing compared to Ian. He dug family members out of the woodworks that I’d never even heard of, let alone seen. And I was no stranger to Ian’s family; I’d been to a family reunion, once. The sheer number of McLellans was astonishing, simply astounding. It was that day that I started to suspect that they used budding to multiply more efficiently.

Occupation: Lead singer/guitar player in a just-signed band

When I first found out Ian played in a band—and this was before we even started dating, mind you—I thought it was kind of cool, but not that exciting. I was never a fan girl, waiting outside the studios of my favorite artists, waiting for them to walk by so I could sniff some of their shampoo.

When I first met Pete, I was actually sort of annoyed that Ian was in a band. Pete was a jerk. But Adnan was pretty cool. Adnan was the only cool kid from Ian’s Plainfield days. And when we brought in Mark from Henry Hudson, the balance of chemistry just sort of turned out right. And so the band started being something that was sort of important to me, the way it was to Ian.

Status: Married

Ethnicity: Irish

If I thought my dad’s side of the family was off-the-boat, this is nothing compared to the McLellans. They were most likely the most Irish people I’ve ever met. The Katie and Ian thing was only the start of it. Of the huge clan, I would approximate that ninety percent of them had red hair. Roughly that amount had green eyes. Maybe seventy percent of them had the whole accent thing going, too.

I feel like I am qualified to make these approximations, too. After all, I have been to a family reunion. I was a legitimate invitee when Ian and I got engaged. And they were all there, with their brogues and their rosary beads and their propensities to talk about people that I had never met even when I was part of a conversation. They were sweet, though.

Gender: Male

Appearance: Boyishly adorable.

If this whole band thing takes off, undoubtedly Ian will be the target of much fan girly praise, the kind that I never could quite muster up. I tell myself that I’ll be okay with this. My whole plan is to convince myself that I’ll be okay with this. And honestly, I think I probably will be.

And maybe I’m prejudiced because I, you know, love the guy. But I think that the red-haired, green-eyed, freckled combo is endearing. And he’s all skinny and gangly, like he’s always about to fall over. Seriously. If you put anything in his hands that isn’t a microphone or a guitar, be it a pen or an anvil, he looks like he’s about to break into two. He’s skinnier than I am, and I’m five-five and a hundred and fifteen pounds. He’s just cute.

Political Views: Conservative in such things as “must be married before living together” and liberal in such things as “let’s save the Earth and give rights to the gay people.” He, too, will probably wind up voting for Plato when elections come around, but more for indecision than not caring. Poor Ian actually cares far, far too much.

Position: The top of the world, holding my hand.