30

oh.
shit.
APs.

29

welcome back?

28

studying history and I realize:
I know more of this crap than George Washington.

...I know more than George Washington.

27

yeah, i bet the last time you passed out, you got hit in the head with a sword.

26

holy.
shit.

if this is april, i do not want to see august.

25

studystudystudy
workworkwork

I feel as if nothing has been done.
Goddamned ego.

24

Intellectual triumph!

23

Sometimes I seriously hate
everyone who's at Subterranean.
But sometimes I seriously hate
everyone who isn't.

22

I am so tired
I can hardly think.

I need summer.

21

Daily thoughts
are often brief
because it takes only an instant
to think them.

20

On a rainy, lazy Monday,
I woke up in my own bed.

19

homehomehomehomehomehome
my homecoming is interrupted.

goodbye, canada, goodbye!
homehomehomehomehomehome

i pause.

i don't think this is homesickness
this is yousickness, or youallsickness
because even though i love you
i need to be alone.

i am, at heart, someone who needs time alone
to think
to breathe
to be alone.
some of youall think it's because i dont like you
when i'm alone
but that's why i youallsick.

homehomehomehomehomehomehome

it's not the people about home
it's the people about HOME,
and the things at home
like a bed that's all mine
and shampoo and
lights out when i say.

and homehomehome!

i come home and get all justmesick
but i love justmesick because i grew up that way
and i love it i love it i love it and

home and

...sleep.

18

Shit.
I rushed the freshmen.

17

I had been running for two days, and I am not a runner. I have been dashing, in a pell-mell sort of race across Toronto and back again, with a certain fervor. And I was excited! with all this dashing and rushing and running and going and seeing and doing.

I was excited! but I was also very tired.

At night, on this boat, I was being gently lulled to sleep. A conversation with Ryan kept me half there. Thank goodness for Ryan.

On Lake Ontario at night, you can see four green lights on the shores.

Goodnight, Ontario. I'll sleep well tonight.

16

hello, canada.

15

goodbye, america.

14

I don't know The Stranger
and I don't know what The Stranger did
and I don't know what in the Stranger I am to do
but Zach is doing it, anyway.

My belt broke
and I'm marching
and I can't hold up my pants.
But I can get a new one, regardless.

And I'm getting my new glasses
and I'm not entirely sold
and they make my head sort of hurt
but I guess I'll just get used to them.

Silly petty grievances work themselves out.

13

Today feels like the first day.
Today is the last day.

goodbye, freedom.

(and finally caught up!)

12

I fly over Florida:
--all the houses are arranged in nice, tidy rows with matching pink roofs.
I fly over Georgia:
--the houses are randomly jumbled together, all with roofs of black.
I fly over New Jersey:
--the houses are random, with mismatched roofs, looking like the compost heap of homes.

welcome back.

11

I AM THE BABY WHISPERER!
FEAR ME!
...or follow me, if you are a child.

I learned today that children like me.
This is frightening--
I am a paragon of unfriendly.
I growl at kittens!
I shake my fist at orphans!
I kick lame dogs!

(It's possible that I took creative license with those.)

...

...

I AM THE BABY WHISPERER!
FEAR ME!

10

miniature golf at night is kind of nice--
even with your dumb brother.
but let me advise you:
once anyone starts to cry
BAIL FAST
because it's just about to get worse.

you may get a bug bite or two.

but really, it might just be the high point of your vacation,
besides making the stuffed cabbage, that is.
even when you lose the game.

9

happy birthday, paige.
and claire.
(today isn't your actual birthday but today i bought and wrote your presents, so it almost feels like it.)
i guess that makes me a terrible friend.
but i think you like me, anyway.

8

i was going to die here. i was going to die here, in the bed of a ten-year-old, sweating. i was going to die here, crying

all because i had been born looking like my father.

7

i am living among bigots
and idiots
and fools.
"gramps, do you like tacos?"
"i dont think so."
"have you ever had any?"
"i'm not mexican."

just eat the goddamned tacos.

i am living among bigots
and idiots
and fools,
and i dont know how much longer i can take it.
"vinnie is nice,
but poor."

not a defining characteristic.

i am living among bigots
and idiots
and fools.

and i still have most of the week to go.

6

i woke this morning
with a dog on my bed.

i do not own a dog.

vacationorz.

5

a flea market happening:
ENTER SCENE: man, selling bracelets, thirty-something, has a vaguely creepy air. three women, two middle-aged, one teenager.
man and women discuss bracelets, one of middle-aged women buys bracelets.

girl: i have one of these from years past.
woman one: haha, yes, she's older than she looks.
girl: but not that old.
man: ...very attractive.

girl flees scene.

4

oh lady

im sorry you are quarantined in the land of oranges and old people.
---
"i am going to beat you with my fists until you are dead," my grandmother told my grandfather.
"it is illegal to ship citrus into florida," my aunt informed me.
"ma'am, i do not make the rules; homeland security makes the rules," threatened the deputy sheriff.

welcome to florida.

3

Farewell, mes amis, and hopefully I'll return.
--I'm not entirely sure, at this point.
I'm going a little stir-crazy
and a little crazier
and a little cRaZIeRrrR.

I'll miss you all a lot.
(A lot,
a lot,
a lot,
a lot.)

Until Sunday--

2

There is something pleasant

about being horrifyingly busy:

from that business springs productivity.

Productivity then yields

the immense satisfaction

of knowing you got things done--

and from this hectic rush

comes relief.

1

in my reflection,
there was a man with a knife
pointed at me.
i did nothing, though,
because i was hanging myself
at one.