Z is for

Zero Hour * Zigzag

You didn't pass the sobriety test.

That big brain of yours could memorize the alphabet backwards, and you could touch your nose with no problem at all. Your reflexes, as far as I could tell, weren't off.

You couldn't walk the straight line correctly. Idiot.

That's probably why we got caught, you know? If you had mastered going in a straight line instead of that absurd zigzag while drunk, the cop never would've known that you had one or two or seven too many in the first place.

They didn't even see me, stretched out in the back of the car, trying to sleep. No seat belt. That was probably the most illegal thing of all. Drunk passenger in a car with no seat belt with a drunk driver on a provisional license at two in the morning.