4

dear god.

sometimes i wonder. they ask you to write about a hundred essays on it. romeo and juliet. the oddysey. probably a hundred others that i'm not thinking about right now. fate or no?

usually i think i'm a no. make your own fate, right? free will.

but sometimes i have a minute or a day or a week where i think that i could be wrong. if a tree falls in a forest and nobody's around to hear, did it happen by accident? or does it happen for a reason?

this is not a comforting thought. i like the idea that i am in control of my own future and fate and destiny. and i like the idea that if i choose to leave my shoe untied it's from my own laziness, not because my tripping later today will have some higher meaning.

and yet i am a wisher. i will wish on any good portent that comes my way because what if its true and i dont? disaster, worlds ending, wishes dying for nothing. what if its not true and i do? nothing more than nothing.

sometimes i wish i believed in things more or less.

love taylor