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Civil War Project Again:

Jeb Stuart: DAY ONE

REPORTER: Thank you Meg, Morgan. Reporting live from the Southern camp at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, I’m here with the dashing General James “Jeb” Stuart. Just this morning, General Stuart led a cavalry charge against Union cavalry commander General George Custer. We haven’t heard much yet from General Stuart, but he promises to play a big part. General Stuart, what comment do you have on this war?


STUART: It is going to be a long and terrible one…and very few of us will see the end. All that I may ask of fate is that I may be killed leading a cavalry charge.

REPORTER: Now, General, those aren’t very inspiring words. Don’t you have any pretty speeches memorized for events such as these? Your lady admirers would be crushed.

STUART: Lady admirers?

REPORTER: Why, General, don’t you know they’ve dubbed you “Beauty?” That’s the nickname in the South, anyway.

STUART: I’m not fit to judge whether or not this nickname is earned. I’m here to talk about the battle, and the cavalry I lead.

REPORTER: It’s very well earned, sir, but if it’s battle you want, it’s battle you’ll get. Tell us how your cavalry did this morning?

STUART: I thought my men did well; we secured twenty wagons for General Lee… However, he was not pleased; he told me they were only a hindrance, and that my jaunt through Yankee villages, getting supplies was completely a waste. I offered to resign for this.

REPORTER: Oh, General! You mustn’t!

STUART: That’s what General Lee said, though not in such kind words. He informed me, in no uncertain terms, that this was not about my resignation, and that I was selfish and shortsighted to even think of it as such. He told me that I was needed out in the field, and I obeyed his orders for the rest of the battle.

REPORTER: Well, you may be the greatest asset to General Lee, now that Stonewall Jackson is dead.

STUART: May he rest in peace.

REPORTER: May he rest in peace. Anyway, what’s past is past and what’s now is now, and what’s now is your cavalry. Tell us about some of the exploits you got into this past year.

STUART: Well, there have been some close calls of late. The cavalry has been considered the eyes of the Confederacy’s army, so we do go into some precarious situations. One night, we camped on the porch of a house, and awoke to the sight of cavalry coming up the road. One of my officers went to meet them, and was fired at. I immediately jumped on my horse and rode away, but we had to escape so quickly that I left my hat and cape on the porch. I always did regret losing that cape to the Yanks.

REPORTER: At least you escaped with that pretty face of yours intact, General.

STUART: I also lost my hat.

REPORTER: Well, um, yes. So, tell me, General, what do you think it is that makes your cavalry so great? Why is it that, despite massive risks, you’ve been quite successful so far?

STUART: We train well, and that makes all the difference.

REPORTER: You’ve been sending unseasoned volunteers to fight the enemy! How is that “well-trained”?

STUART: Before putting them in the field, I train my men well. I teach them everything they need to know to survive any battle and win most of them. Most of these men know their way around a horse, and so it’s just a matter of learning weaponry, particularly shooting, from their backs—

REPORTER: Well, that’s very interesting. Tell me, what are you doing about the rumors that have sprung up already blaming this battle—which isn’t exactly in a prime position for you Southerners—on you?

STUART: Well, it’s only been one day. The Confederacy isn’t ready to walk away from Gettysburg.

REPORTER: However, the South doesn’t like to believe that their beloved General Lee could commit so grievous an error. They’re looking for a scapegoat and they’ve chosen you. How does that make you feel?

STUART: The battle is not yet won or lost. I have nothing to say until it’s done.

REPORTER: Does this criticism inspire you to fight harder in the field?

STUART: I always fight my hardest. We’re gonna lick those Yanks but good.

REPORTER: Well, those are inspiring words, indeed. Thank you, General, for your time.
STUART: You’re quite welcome.

REPORTER: We hope to see you again soon.

STUART: I’m sure you will.

DAY THREE:

REPORTER: Morgan. We’re live after the battle with General J.E.B. Stuart. How are you this evening, General?

STUART: You might imagine that I’m not doing very well, miss.

REPORTER: Well, yes. Your troops just suffered hideous losses across these three days. The number dead vastly outnumber the living citizens of the town. And, worst of all, Southern newspapers are already announcing you as the person solely responsible for this failed battle. How do you feel about this? Is it libel or truth?

STUART: General Lee has issued a formal statement claiming all blame for this battle.

REPORTER: Yes, but how do you feel about it? Do you agree with General Lee?

STUART: I cannot disagree with my general.

REPORTER: Clearly this is a touchy subject. And I can understand that, as the people so love their Robert E. Lee that even when he admits to his mistakes, they dump them on you. That must be crushing.

STUART: It isn’t pleasing.

REPORTER: Evidently. What do you plan to do in light of this astronomical error? Will you again offer your resignation?

STUART: I will not. I’m going to follow General Lee’s orders to wherever he needs me to go.

REPORTER: Which is?

STUART: Well, for now we’re going to re—I can’t tell you that!

REPORTER: Well, it was worth a try, to broadcast your plans to the entire Union. Anything else you’d like to say, General? Any comment on being the scapegoat of Gettysburg?

STUART: No, thank you. I’d like to go home with my dignity as intact as possible. Have a nice day, miss.

REPORTER: Thank you, General. And a nice day to you, too. With luck, we’ll never see you in these parts again. I’m Taylor McCabe, live from the Gettysburg battlefield, with General Jeb Stuart. Meg, Morgan, back to you.