The catch, the real problem, is that I always manage to convince myself that I have fun when I'm there with you, and so the disappointment is continuous. And when you remind me all the reasons I'm wrong, I remind myself why I never really feel like I'm fitting in a traditional family role. And that's what makes me think that I'm better off myself. Because I don't feel bad when you don't all remind me how bad I really am.
An unanswerable question: what is the role of family, precisely?
For example, I miss my sister now that ten hours and a time zone separate us. But when she lived home, we talked less often and saw each other just the same amount and I certainly missed her less. It's funny the way distance has an effect on missing.
An unanswerable answer: not to push you out, I think.
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