At three-thirty on Monday afternoon, Maddie realized she hadn't yet thought about Elena that day.That made her feel guilty.
But she had been preoccupied! A boy from her history class had asked her out. Derek. She had said no, because she didn't really know him, but then hadn't known if she had wanted to say no. And she'd been very wrapped up in the whole drama of it and had had to tell all of her friends about it so they could all ooh and aah over how cute Derek was and why she should or should not have rejected him and this whole time Maddie was too busy thinking about the drama that was the first time she'd ever been asked out by a boy that she had completely forgotten to worry about her sister.
And holy crap, did that made Madelyn feel absurdly guilty.
But then she almost forgot that she was feeling guilty. And then she forgot completely that she was feeling guilty. And then, when she remembered, she felt guilty for forgetting to feel guilty.
It was something of a vicious cycle.
And then eventually she just decided not to be guilty. Or maybe it was less of a decision than a happening. Maddie just stopped being guilty. Because people were starting to forget. And Maddie started to be part of them.
Not that she was forgetting her sister, so much as she was acting as she had when they both lived at home. She didn't consciously think of Elena as much anymore. She was just her sister, and she just wasn't around right now. If Maddie though about it long and hard, then she started to worry. But in errant thought, in thinking, Oh, yeah, I have no idea where Elena is right now, Madelyn didn't stress about it so much.
Because it wasn't like she really ever knew where Elena was when she was home, either. This wasn't that big of a change, really, except Maddie knew she should worry.
And anyway, Madelyn was positively certain that Elena would come home exactly when she felt like it an not one second before.
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